FarQuest

TakeBacktheTech: Shero Saba Gul makes us proud!

A lot of my TakeBackTheTech posts focus on issues revolving around female harassment and online privacy. However, what I often miss to highlight is the amazing work that some brilliant women are doing on various fronts despite all the problems they face. Their achievements bring not just pride but also a ray of optimism for the rest of us. It makes us women realize the enormous power that we all possess and the wonders that each one of us is capable of making.

In our TakeBackTheTech lingo, we call such women “Sheros” - yes we just formed a feminine version of Heros

Today, I am going to talk about one such shero and her name is Saba Gul. Saba is Co-Founder and Executive Director,BLISS - Business and Life Skills School. Saba being passionate about empowering women through education came up with the idea of setting a school that equips girls and young women from rural Pakistan with essential skills needed to be entrepreneurs and enterprise women. Girls at BLISS do not just study but also work against stipends that make up for the wages they lose to attend school. You can read more about BLISS on their website.

Recently, Saba Gul achieved something to make us all feel proud specially as Pakistani women. She got selected as one of the finalists by Unreasonable Institute - which’s an incubator for social entrepreneurs. Every year this institute gathers 25 extremely talented social entrepreneurs from all around the world who have ideas and projects that can change the world for good. These entrepreneurs are then trained for six weeks by world-class mentors and are connected with several potential investors and partners. This year Saba has been one of these brilliant entrepreneurs.

Have a look at Saba’s presentation for Unreasonable Institute below:

Posted in Food for Thought, Social Good | No Comments »

Mirage?

A week ago, a training on the topic of “Leading from Within” by Sualeha Bhatti was organized at my office. At first I was a bit skeptic about this training as I feared it would talk about the same old concepts of being a good leader and I’ll end up wasting my time. However, 5 minutes into it and my perception changed completely.Not only Sualeha Bhatti is an awesome trainer but she gave us some really practical tips on how to lead a happier and fulfilling life and develop the confidence as well as traits to be a good leader.

Part of that training was dedicated to setting priorities and objectives of life. We were asked what are the things that if we achieve in life will make us look back and say ‘Life well lived! “. It was a room filed with about 16 people and each one of us had different goals and objectives to achieve, but everyone of us had one common goal of life too:

However, most of us are so busy making careers and making money that we barely get to spend quality time with our families. It got me thinking about how we are running behind the mirage of that ‘one day’ when we think we will have all the luxuries of life and we will be enjoying fun time with our families; not knowing that paradoxically we are running away from that very day. Our families still care for us, they still love us and they are still with us, however, tomorrow may not be same. With the increasing work life imbalance that most of us face, we may end up being alone and then even though we might have all the gold and silver of the world, we may still not be able to look back and say “Life well lived” …..

Posted in Food for Thought, Personal | 1 Comment »

Fatherless Child ~ tasha miller

A touching story of millions of girls around….

Fatherless Child

A fatherless child was born one day.
She never asked for this life,
but it’s hers, anyway.

As she lay in her crib
at the hospital ward,
the other fathers come,
the other babies are adored.

She has no last name,
her birth certificate, incomplete.
There won’t be a proud Daddy
counting the toes on her feet.

That first day of school,
she knew something was wrong.
All the other kids brought a man
named “Daddy” along.

She had heard that word,
but what did it mean?
She didn’t have one of those,
at least not that she had seen.

She asked many questions
over the next few years,
but there were no answers,
just a set of deaf ears.

As she grew up,
the dream formed in her mind.
One day she’d get answers
and her lost Daddy, she would find.

She laid in bed every night,
giving him a face.
She rehearsed every moment,
every word, just in case.

She imagined a happy meeting,
a day full of hugs and tears.
The vision became perfect,
polished over the years.

She couldn’t believe it,
when the day actually came.
She finally had a story
and most of all, a name.

They wouldn’t let her search
until she was on her own.
She knew this was something
she had to do all alone.

She made many cold calls,
the answer was always the same.
Then she found someone
that knew that name.

The woman said,
“That is my son”.
The girl knew it was over,
her journey was done.

She learned all she could
in that one call.
As she hung up, she realized,
‘that was my grandma’!

She had what she needed,
the time was here.
She dialed his number,
the phone trembled next to her ear.

When she heard his voice,
she felt her heart flop.
Everything was still.
Time seemed to stop.

She told him the story
and the part that he played,
how she was his daughter,
the one he had made.

She heard him speaking
and the words that he said.
But this wasn’t in her dream,
it was a nightmare, instead.

He said he didn’t want a daughter,
her dream would never be.
She was only a weed
growing under his family tree.

Now, what would she dream about?
This was the only dream she had.
All she ever wanted was
to be a daughter to a Dad.

~Tasha Miller

Source: http://tashamariemiller.tripod.com/id1.html

technorati tags: takebackthetech

Posted in Food for Thought, Female Harrassment, Social Good | 6 Comments »

Life has to…move on!

It has been dreadful since the last few days - a horrible plane crash that took many brilliant souls away, flood that has killed hundreds and have left thousands homeless, violence in the metropolis that has claimed lives and destroyed properties of many innocent. The vivid memories of the glowing faces with lots of dreams and hopes and the carefree laughter that used to echo the university corridors ended up being smoke in Margalla - it was days that I kept reading about them until one night when I slept teary eyed and woke up with a severe stomach pain - that what had bottled inside got an outlet - no wonder “If one part of the body hurts the entire body hurts ~ Hadith” I tossed and turned as the pain was crushing yet I realized my pain was no greater than theirs who were burnt to ashes.

Couple of days later my city is burning yet I’m at peace and no it’s not the numbness this time neither is it the immunity or inhumanity for that matter - it’s a belief in the mantra “This too shall pass”. A ray of bliss lightened up when I noticed something accidentally - something that disturbed me for years, that kept coming back till it gave up on me, my indifference beat it up. My belief in my inner strength is back now because life has to move on and I just triumphed in moving on.

Posted in Food for Thought, Personal | 3 Comments »

Criteria for respectability!

It was lovely morning today with a partly cloudy weather. I was on my way to office with a peaceful mind, excited to have yet another busy and lively day.The route that my van takes is usually not a busy one, however, at one of the signals, the traffic policemen made us wait for unusually longer today, and at last we figured out that it was because of a VIP movement - which is not really unusual. While I was irritated at first, I immediately decided not to let it get on my nerves because I wanted to stay in good mood for the rest of the day. Van kept moving at it’s usual speed and I kept observing the outside world with trail of different thoughts in mind when suddenly some car started honking on us and by the time I turned around, all I saw was a speedy Parado with jet black glasses overtaking us from left side (yes the wrong side) , slamming into the side view mirror and moving ahead at a high speed. While I was trying to understand what happened, I saw another Parodo crossing us and then pushing sides on us while a Habshi(Arabic) looking guy from inside uses foul language while looking angrily at our van driver.

My van driver uncle had to finally al most stop the van in the middle of the road to let the jerks go and just then I noticed that both the cars had international number plates. It was then I felt really really sad on being harassed in my OWN country by/because of those who were not even Pakistani nationals. It made me realize how simply a Parodo with an International or for that matter green number plate can make you the most respectable and powerful person. It can give the license to humiliate anyone who does not have a Parado or a similarly expensive car.

It saddened me extremely on how I got treated like a 3rd grade citizen in my own country just because I’m a COMMON Pakistani like million others! While the incident that I narrated above may seem simply another example of road rage to many, it was not just disturbing for me but also left me wondering if I would ever be able enjoy status of a 1st grade citizen in any part of the world!

PS: The driver of the jet black car may not be foreigner and the guy speaking foul language may not be real Habshi either and may be a member of the Makarani community who resemble Habshis a lot but still I would stick to my opinion that the kind of attitude they showed was because they were driving a Parado with an International Number plate and knew that laws are not meant for them - Slap on the face of a common Pakistani NATIONAL like myself!

PPS: My last wish - I would want to drive an ultra expensive car on the roads of Karachi and feel how it is like being a RESPECTABLE Pakistani National!

PPS: I still love my country and ‘am living to see THE change. Pakistan Zindadbad!

Disclaimer - This post is not meant to show any racism.

Posted in Food for Thought, Personal | 5 Comments »

TakeBackTheTech: We made the legal community say TBTT!

The system clock showed it was 21st January and I felt my heart beat increasing - just 9 days left, yes “JUST” because I wanted everything to be perfect. On 29th January I was traveling to Lahore after about 18 years and this time to move a tiny little step ahead in bringing about the change that APC WNSP, Bytes4All, P@SHA and millions of women across the globe are waiting to see - a world where every women feels safe and secure in offline as well as the online world. With this intention, Jehan Ara from P@SHA and I were traveling to Lahore to conduct a seminar on “ICTs and Violence Against Women - Policy Implications”. Shahzad Ahmed from Bytes4All was coming from Islamabad to join us and the SUPER WOMAN Nighat Daad - a lahore based advocate who was our Aladdin lamp to get all things organized at Lahore

We were all super excited as this session was being conducted for the female advocates from Lahore to discuss with them MDG3, Pakistan Electronic Crime Ordinance and its fallacies and TakeBackTheTech Campaign. While Shahzad and Jehan were to talk about MDG3 and PECO respectively, my job was to introduce to the legal community what TakeBackTheTech is.

Even though I had done initial brain storming but I was still not feeling relaxed because the more important part of deciding how to present it without making people sleep, was left. I did not want it to be yet another dull and boring presentation that makes people sleep and oh, the light bulb lit “boring…presentation…sleep”…oh yay! I recalled how a person once managed to fall asleep and started snorting loudly while I was conducting a workshop But hey I always thought only stories make one fall asleep so if i have to make the audience sleep anyway, why not tell a story and bingo! I came up with this presentation:

It took me quite some time to create the graphics for the presentation and the tweaking continued till even an hour before the presentation, the last hour was spent freaking out because when I roamed around the hall filled with about 80 female as well as male advocates, a few educationalists/NGO representatives and 2 senior judges Justice Nasira Iqbal - President Lahore High Court Bar Association and Mian Allah Nawaz - Ex Chief Justice Lahore High Court, I came across a lot of people who told me with raised eyebrows, “You are so young, we were expecting someone senior” :O While I told them that looks can be deceiving and ‘am actually not too young, I got worried thinking if they are going to tag my presentation a piece of junk as well because of the wit it was supposed to contain :S

With a racing heart, I walked to the rostrum to present and then I all remember was telling the story which ended with claps and a lovely smile from Justice Nasira. Alhamdulilah majority liked the presentation and found it useful.

Shahzad’s presentation about MDG3 gave them a good understanding of what MDG3 is all about and Jehan’s presentation about PECO and it’s fallacies, made them all realize the importance of having an unambiguous and comprehensive e-crime law. This even lead some of them propose an idea of having a Technical Committee and to have the topics such as Cyber Crime Law as well as Cyber Crimes be introduced to lawyers, judges as well as law students at the Judicial Academy.

As always it was heartening to see a positive participation from a lot of male members from the legal community as well who emphasized the need to draft a comprehensive law for the betterment of women.

As some educationalists were also present at the session, so they highlighted the need of conducting such awareness sessions for students too where we enlighten them about the importance of ICTs while introducing to them the dangers of it as well and telling them how they can use ICTs safely.

So, all in all the session went great and I think we really managed to change minds of at least few who I’m sure will change a few more and that’s how the chain reaction will continue…

You can read more about the session on Jehan Ara’s blog here and Shahzad’s post on behalf of Bytes4All here.

PS: For those who do not know what TakeBackThetech is? Check out my blog post:
Let’s TBTT!

technorati tags: takebackthetech

Posted in Tech Talk, Food for Thought, Personal, Female Harrassment, Social Good | 6 Comments »

Take Back The Tech: Tale of two stalker mullahs

Disclaimer: This note by NO means aims to bring a bad name to the bearded individuals or religious clerics in general and the purpose is solely to share a story of two nasty mullahs.Also both these stories come from my dear and near ones who have been so close to me that there is no room for questioning the veracity of information provided.

Tale 1:
She was in her early teens and was waiting outside her bungalow for someone to open the gate as she had just got back from school. It was then that she heard a sound as if someone’s calling her and as she turned, she saw a flying kiss coming her way from a Mullah going on a bicycle. From the looks of him, he seemed to be one of so called “Maulvi Sahibs” who provide home based teaching of Quran to kids and are often seen going from one home to another on their bicycles. While it’s a SHAME for a person engaged in such a noble profession to be doing such acts of disgust,the next story makes one feel even more shocked!

Tale 2:
She had just started learning to read Quran and was barely 8 years old or so. Her Maulvi Sahib whom she used to respect a lot was also a young guy in his late teens or early twenties. Days went by and she kept getting her lessons regularly,however, one day, while she was revising her lesson infront of the maulvi sahib, she felt the maulvi sahib is staring her instead of looking on the Quran-e-Pak. As she raised her head to look at the Maulvi Sahib sitting right beside her,she found him smiling at her.She felt a bit uncomfortable and confused but what came ahead left her dumbfounded. Maulvi Sahib said to her with a smile “Kya aap k dil main meray liye mohabbat hai?” - “Do you feel love for me?” The 8 year old who was probably not even aware of the terms “romantic love” didn’t know how to answer but she sensed something is wrong so just to get herself out of the situation, she said “I will call you bhai (brother) from tomorrow”. Her answer changed the expressions on Mullah’s face but thankfully brought an end to the torturous lecture session.Right after the lecture, the 8 year old ran to the washroom and cried her heart out, she wanted to let everyone know what maulvi sahib had said to her but she felt embarrassment, she felt fear, she just didn’t know how to say it out. She wiped her tears and decided to remain quiet.
Next day came, the maulvi sahib came right on time and 8 yr old went to take her daily lesson but this time unwantedly. She wanted to quickly recite till the given Ayat, get over with the lesson and run but just when the lesson ended, maulvi sahib told her again with the same wicked smile “You did not call me *bhai* today?” and poor 8 year old again found herself trapped in the same situation that she had barely got herself out of a day ago. Today, she does not even remember what she told maulvi this time, may be something like “I’ll call you bhai now” or something, she does not remember exactly but all she remembers is feeling extremely uncomfortable, scared. After the maulvi sahib went, she again ran to the washroom and cried a lot, she was feeling shame.Note that victims of child abuse/female harassment often feel shame even though it not their fault to be a victim but somehow in the absence of proper guidance, the psychological changes triggers a sense of embarrassment in them and this 8 year old little girl was no different. After trying to figure out how to solve this problem, she finally decided to talk to her mother about it. So, she ran to her mother, and told her the entire story while bursting into tears. Her mother comforted her and asked her not to feel either bad or worried about it. She told her that she won’t have to get any lessons from the Maulvi Sahib now and the very next day she fired the mullah from his job.

While the 8 year old was wise enough to get her mother intervene and come out of the situation without any major harm, everyone young kid might not be this lucky! In my next note, I will discuss a few tips on how to secure kids in your family or surroundings from such nasty men (and sometimes women too).

PS: For those who do not know what TakeBackThetech is? Check out my blog post:
Let’s TBTT!

technorati tags: takebackthetech

Posted in Religion, Food for Thought, Female Harrassment, Social Good | 6 Comments »

Let’s TBTT!

I devoted most of my free time today in attempting to TBTT….yes to “Take Back The Tech!” and it’s going to be so at least till the next 16 days. Wondering what “Take Back the Tech” is all about? It’s a 16 day campaign which attempts to use technology to fight female harassment and specially forms of it that involve technology for e.g. cyber bullying, mobile phone harassment etc. According to the TakeBackTheTech Website :

” “Take Back The Tech!” is initiated and organised by the Association for Progressive Communications, Women’s Networking Support Programme (APC WNSP)
We are a global network of women who support women networking for social change and women’s empowerment, through the use of information and communication technologies (ICTs).
We promote gender equality in the design, development, implementation, access to and use of ICTs, and in the policy decisions and frameworks that regulate them.
Our network numbers over 100 women from more than 35 countries……….”

We here in Pakistan have planned to run the local TBTT Campaign. So far, some of the active TBTT campaign members are Jehan Ara, Talha Izhar, Ammar Yasir,, Jamash, Bina Shah, Furrukh Ahmed, Rabia Garib and counting…

We have laid down a basic day to day activities plan as well that we will follow mainly to create awareness about female harassment issues and sharing tips on how to fight back this menace.

You can join the TakeBackTheTech-Pakistan Cause on Facebook and to stay updated about all the TBTT campaigns being run in different parts of the world, join the TakeBackTheTech Facebook group and/or follow it on Twitter here.

If you want to support this campaign to make this world a safe place for all the beautiful women in your life, drop a comment suggesting ideas on the areas we should primarily focus on, any tips, stories about any female harassment cases you witnessed etc. or simply Ka-Blog with us! [In Filipino slang, “ka-BLOG” means someone you blog with.]

PS: Just in case you have not noticed, what I like the most about Take Back the Tech campaign is that every year it starts on Nov 25- International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women and ends on Dec 10- International Human Rights Day!

technorati tags: takebackthetech

Posted in Tech Talk, Food for Thought, Female Harrassment, Social Good | 6 Comments »

Main Adakaara Banoongi

…and no I’m not planning be an adakaara not because I don’t want to be but because I already ‘am…ask my ama about how well I can act being sick when I don’t want to go anywhere and shoo why do I always start bragging? :S The purpose of this post is to talk about Katha Theater’s humorous play “Main Adakaara Banoongi” which has been organized by Rotary Club and is being played at the Arts Council Auditorium since 6th June, 09 everyday from 8:30 p.m. to 10:30 p.m. (in fact make it 11:00 p.m. ) I got a chance to to visit theater for the first time yesterday to watch this play and it was an absolutely wonderful and thrilling experience. Don’t have much time at the moment to write in detail about my experience but ‘am putting together this post to let you all know that if you want to spend some fun time away from the worries we are regularly surrounded by then you MUST go and watch this play. Another positive thing about this play is that, all its proceeds will go to different charitable projects of Rotary, at the top of which is the “Artificial Limb Project”. So, you will get a chance to get entertainment and contribute for a noble cause at the same time. It’s the last day of the play today so, please spread the word.

You can find some details about the play on KMB, CIO Pakistan’s website, Jehan’s ITLOW and Sana’s Mystified Justice

The ticket is for Rs. 700 and is available at Agha’s Super Market, Raintree Spa at Forum and even at the Venue.

I shall write a detailed post about my experience soon InshAllah

Disclaimer: The author has not been paid to write this promotional post and it is completely based upon her personal experience.

Posted in Stress Managment, Food for Thought, Personal | 7 Comments »

Why the Prejudice?

Flipping TV channels in the evening today, I came across the program "Awam ki Awaz" on CNBC Pakistan and the topic for the episode was "Prejudice towards Hijras" (Hijra is an urdu word for members from the third gender).  While the host interviewed different people from this community, asking them why they don’t choose to go for professions like others(men and women) do, most of them said, "..because of the attitude of these men and women" i.e.  because of us, the so called normal people. One of them told that she had studied till intermediate and wanted to study even further to become a doctor but had to quit because of the attitude of society towards them. According to them, people often end up making their life miserable and force them to go for the conventional "hijra" get up and activities even if they are not willing to.

As I watched the program, I realized how majority usually treats them with disgust and then various questions flooded my mind. Why don’t we let them lead their lives as we do? Get education and go for careers as we do, being what they really are? Why do we expect them to conceal their gender before they could work/study with us? Why the "Eww" feeling even when some of them actually make it big being famous designers/make up artists, we proudly wear what they design and pay thousands to get a makeover done from their salons?

Why can’t we simply accept them as they are and enable them to contribute to the society in more positive ways. No wonder one of them might end up doing something to make us and this country feel proud of! So, is this prejudice ever going to end?

Posted in Food for Thought | 5 Comments »