FarQuest

TakeBackTheTech: Independence day?

GUEST POST

Today, I am narrating a story of my beloved friend, who had just entered into teenage, unaware of everything that can happen to her. She was enjoying her youth, was lively and free from all worries. It was 14th August i.e. the Independence Day and she got dressed up in white shalwar kamiz with a green dupatta on it, wore a badge of Pakistani flag. Filled with patriotic spirits, took her way to school as the school was celebrating Independence Day.

We were three friends who used to go to school together and it was her routine to take two of us from our place as our building was close to school. Like always she came to pick us up, it seemed a normal day but no one knew that is was not as normal as it seemed to be. A stranger entered in the same building where she was waiting for us to come down. She could not guess the intensions of that person until just after few seconds that man came closer to her and held her so tightly that the poor girl could not help herself come out of the man’s grip; the man kissed her lips and within seconds he was gone away, leaving emotional scars that took years to go away. She did not really know the meaning of sexual harassment and assault one could carry out to satisfy the lust.

She was so embarrassed as if it was her mistake, kept crying and rubbing her lips as if she has got dirt on them. Meanwhile, I came down and saw her crying badly, I kept asking what had happened to her but she was not in her normal state as that incident left a deep impact on her mind. When she got back in her senses, she told us the entire story. We felt furious but also got scared as what we could do if something likes that happen to us. A feeling of helplessness overshadowed us but I believe the least we could do is to educate all the girls as a mother, sister or a friend so that they should also remain alert specially while being alone and speak out if God forbid anything like this happens to any of them; so that together we can share these unpleasant experiences and use our combined wisdom to do something to let such incidents not happen.

Posted in Female Harrassment | No Comments »

Fatherless Child ~ tasha miller

A touching story of millions of girls around….

Fatherless Child

A fatherless child was born one day.
She never asked for this life,
but it’s hers, anyway.

As she lay in her crib
at the hospital ward,
the other fathers come,
the other babies are adored.

She has no last name,
her birth certificate, incomplete.
There won’t be a proud Daddy
counting the toes on her feet.

That first day of school,
she knew something was wrong.
All the other kids brought a man
named “Daddy” along.

She had heard that word,
but what did it mean?
She didn’t have one of those,
at least not that she had seen.

She asked many questions
over the next few years,
but there were no answers,
just a set of deaf ears.

As she grew up,
the dream formed in her mind.
One day she’d get answers
and her lost Daddy, she would find.

She laid in bed every night,
giving him a face.
She rehearsed every moment,
every word, just in case.

She imagined a happy meeting,
a day full of hugs and tears.
The vision became perfect,
polished over the years.

She couldn’t believe it,
when the day actually came.
She finally had a story
and most of all, a name.

They wouldn’t let her search
until she was on her own.
She knew this was something
she had to do all alone.

She made many cold calls,
the answer was always the same.
Then she found someone
that knew that name.

The woman said,
“That is my son”.
The girl knew it was over,
her journey was done.

She learned all she could
in that one call.
As she hung up, she realized,
‘that was my grandma’!

She had what she needed,
the time was here.
She dialed his number,
the phone trembled next to her ear.

When she heard his voice,
she felt her heart flop.
Everything was still.
Time seemed to stop.

She told him the story
and the part that he played,
how she was his daughter,
the one he had made.

She heard him speaking
and the words that he said.
But this wasn’t in her dream,
it was a nightmare, instead.

He said he didn’t want a daughter,
her dream would never be.
She was only a weed
growing under his family tree.

Now, what would she dream about?
This was the only dream she had.
All she ever wanted was
to be a daughter to a Dad.

~Tasha Miller

Source: http://tashamariemiller.tripod.com/id1.html

technorati tags: takebackthetech

Posted in Food for Thought, Female Harrassment, Social Good | 6 Comments »

TakeBackTheTech: We are step closer!

It was the last day of the 5 day incredible journey that they call FTX (more on FTX later). I was feeling heavyhearted for the period I was surrounded by nothing but positive energy and pleasant people, was coming to an end. Cheekay Cinco from APC was conducting a workshop on Online Security and Privacy and what she announced in the middle of the workshop cheered me up completely. It gave me a new hope, a new motivation to move ahead with greater determination. Guess what? According to APC, the best TakeBackTheTech campaign that came out last year was from Pakistan Alhamdulilah.

It convinced me that what we have been doing since Novemeber 2009 is being read and people are benefiting from it and that’s enough for me to say that slowly and gradually we are moving ahead - one step at a time towards changing attitudes!

I thank all those who have been following this campaign an/or have been part of it directly or indirectly. Hope the momentum continues and together we keep bringing about a positive change!

A quick recap of the major events that we have so far organized under the banner of TakeBackTheTech are:

1. P@SHA and Bytes4All introduced TakeBackTheTech in Pakistan in Novemeber 2009
2. In January 2010, Jehan Ara of P@SHA and myself conducted a workshop for the legal community in Lahore. We shared about Cyber Crimes, PECO and TakeBackTheTech with a group of 80 Lahore High Court lawyers including 2 senior judges.
3. In February 2010, National Strategy Workshop was conducted in Karachi.
4. In June 2010, first ever Feminist Tech Exchange (Train the Trainer program) was organized in Islamabad.

Other than this since Novemeber 2010, we have been advocating this campaign online via Facebook, Twitter, Blogs - we tweet, blog,compose TBTT songs, create post cards, create localized logos ( a few can be seen above) and do everything that we can to raise awareness regarding ICTs and VAW.

We hope to do a lot more this year InshAllah. Will keep you all posted.

PS: For those who do not know what TakeBackThetech is? Check out my blog post:
Let’s TBTT!

PPS: To read all TBTT related posts I have written so far, please check out the “Female Harassment” category of my blog here.

Logos Customization Credit: Hinstance

technorati tags: takebackthetech

Posted in Personal, Female Harrassment, Social Good | No Comments »

TakeBackTheTech: Stop having fun at our expense!

I was in grade 9 when few of my seniors presented a humorous stage play, on how women spend most of their time in finding the right cosmetics for them and then the rest of the time using those cosmetics. We laughed madly watching that play and expected that everyone would praise the group for coming up with such a funny piece; but the principal’s reaction was totally unexpected. She did not encourage the group of young girls at all and criticized the play severely - she had a valid reason to do so. The principal was of the opinion that if we being women do not respect other women, how do we expect men to respect us and not make fun of us?

At that time we felt the principal was over-reacting and there was nothing wrong in being funny but now after 11 years I have realized, she was right. Now I know what extent mere humor can go to, eve-teasing is considered humor too, eve-teasers think there’s nothing wrong in having a little fun, in a little name-calling, in a little whistling, in a little touching but their *little* humor and fun makes women end their education, their careers and even their lives. Don’t take my word for it, read this news from BBC and you will understand how heinous a crime it can become.

Just yesterday, on Facebook, a young guy commented on a group picture of women comparing women with footballs. He thought he was being funny but it seriously offended me and several other women. The sad part is, despite our informing him that he is being offensive, he didn’t apologize.He felt it’s our fault that we don’t have a sense of humor. It’s men like him who feel they can even walk over women, crush them under their feet and laugh out loudly because it would be great *FUN* !

It is for this reason that we need to continuously educate men on how disturbing their funny remark can be for women, we need to teach them that there is a fine line between humor and indecency and crossing that line can end up making them eve-teasers, rapists and killers!

technorati tags: takebackthetech

Posted in Personal, Female Harrassment, Social Good | 3 Comments »

Want LSD trip?

This post is specially for those who want to go on an LSD. trip If you don’t know what LSD is, no use reading ahead - better go and get yourself a glass of Lassi! What…you don’t know about Lassi either. Duh…now you better get some water and drown in it, as they say in Urdu “Chullo bhar paani main doob maro” . Yes, don’t underestimate me, I can bully too at times (this btw by no means allow you to sue me under PECO as it has lapsed )

Anyway so while you drown or drink lassi, let me share my experience of taking LSD. My friend PTA and a few bad kids introduced me to it just a few days ago - ahh yes, didn’t mommy tell you catch such habits from a bad circle of friends?
It was a fine day when I suddenly heard about Facebook getting blocked and following it YouTube, Wikipedia, Flickr and Google yes GOOGLE also got blocked (even though Wikipedia, Google and Flickr are back now but several other sites still remain blocked) While I was trying to comprehend what has happened and was busy judging who’s right and who’s wrong, a few friends got hurled with life threats for they had protested against blasphemy but had also protested against blanket ban of Facebook and other useful sites. With a netbook in one hand and cellphone in another, I marched into the living room to catch up on the latest news and it was then that I read this horrible news: Daewoo Hostess who was kidnapped and gang-raped earlier this year has been kidnapped again, this time along with her sister. However, as of now when I’m writing this post, updates are that she has been kidnapped along with her mother - I have this feeling that not much attention is being paid to her case this time in media, have only seen a single channel reporting the news and havn’t read about it in any newspaper yet even though 2 days have passed since this news broke; shows there’s some hot shot involved in this case.

After reading this news and being subjected to minute by minute updates regarding PTA banning different sites, I felt as if I’ve gone on an LSD trip and effects are somehow still the same. As pointed out on The GoodDrugsGuide (Wondering though what’s good abt drugs? :S) I feel my “consciousness has been profoundly altered- something has completely erased the normal filters and screens between my conscious mind and the outside world. With these filters down, more information rushes in. I sense more, think more, feel more. I became aware of things normally filtered out by your mind, visual, auditory, sensory, emotional.”

I’m in a weird state of mind at the moment, my sense of humor has become unpredictable, I feel euphoric one moment and extremely depressed the next! What else can you expect from a person who has been deprived of access to knowledge and has fear of being raped should she speak against anything - yes the Daewoo Hostess also spoke against what happened to her and here she is again on mercy of the mighty!

I feel hopeful one moment and feel totally hopeless the next moment, as I know might is taking over the right as the right doesn’t have the might to fight the wrong!

I just hope this LSD trip ends soon and I get back to my normal optimistic self…

PS: I wonder why people use LSD and other drugs specially sleeping pills when Lassi can solve all your problems? I have been taking good night sleep for the past few days just because of Lassi

PPS: Jehan Ara thinks MCFlurry will make me feel better. Wonder why McFlurry is not used to end LSD trip?

PPPS: On a serious note, I by no means support Facebook specially after reading this article. Still I don’t want PTA to dictate me, even my Allah(SWT) has given me the choice to decide what is wrong for me and what’s right. Imagine if Allah(SWT) had not given us this choice. Computers would switch off during prayer timings even if you are doing any urgent task, you would be dragged out of bed and be forced to offer Fajr prayer on time even if you are ill and the list can go on and on….

Posted in Tech Talk, Personal, Female Harrassment, Social Good | 2 Comments »

[Happy] Women’s Day

Wrote and shared with friends on Women’s Day - posting it here a little late :$

So, Women’s Day was celebrated again today with much zeal and fervor. Since yesterday I have been hearing speeches, discussions on “How” to improve the overall situation of women rights in Pakistan. I was sitting in my air-conditioned office, when I started getting Women Day wishes - i surely felt great and HAPPY! Life is good Alhamdulilah, I got to study from one of the prestigious private institutions of Pakistan, have been working at a well-known company, get three meals a day and snacks to munch on in between, wear nice and expensive clothes, travel by car, party out with friends when I feel like and so life’s beautiful. I’m privileged, educated and hence empowered so yay HAPPY WOMEN’S DAY but yes there’s a huge BUT! I decided to work for this campaign TakeBackTheTech a few months ago. As part of the campaign, I keep researching on women issues on a regular basis and specially before speaking at any event or writing on the topic for any publication. Without exaggerating I would say that what I get to read about women issues does not let me sleep properly at night. I traveled to Lahore to deliver a presentation to the legal community there, the presentation was witty but least did people know how much stress I had to undergo in trying to prepare that presentation - stress that followed reading about how women suffer, how they r brutally raped, tortured and murdered. Call me sensitive or altruistic but yes I DO feel the pain of those women even when I don’t even know them.

Days before my travel young maid Shazia was brutally murdered in Lahore and the alleged murderer belongs to the legal community of Lahore. After the incident I traveled with another agenda in mind that perhaps I’d be able to change mindsets of a few after talking to them on women issues and they in turn will do something about girls/women like Shazia.. The presentation also went great and I was hopeful ( may be I still ‘am) that something would happen. Little Shazia will get justice! I remember mentioning in my presentation at Lahore that we ALL empowered CJP because we wanted justice for ALL. I had this faith that now after freedom of judiciary, anyone irrespective of his class/creed can get justice but I was WRONG! Weeks later, it was announced that Shazia died because of anemia and malnutrition ( yes anemia can fracture your ribs, your skull, your arm and your nails can get plucked out because of malnutrition) It was a clear enough sign that the alleged murderer will be freed and poor Shazia won’t get justice. However, i still had this little hope that CJP will intervene, I remember him saying in several speeches that once restored, he’ll ensure justice for EVERY Pakistani. Shazia was also a Pakistani and I knew CJP wud keep his word but ahh I was wrong. With due respect, CJP Sb has been restored and now he probably has forgotten his promises or perhaps a death of a poor maid is not even worth his attention. I really don’t know what’s going on except that Shazia died a painful death and nothing was done about it.

Similarly, several Shazias suffer regularly and while in all speeches we say “We SHOULD”, we seldom say “WE WILL ” (I’m no different either) Everyday I see a new NGO forming up in the name of Women Rights, yet I know it’s not even safe for me to walk half a mile alone - eve teasing is fun for many and I haven’t seen any NGO doing anything about it (Please enlighten me if any NGO has - I’m ignorant!) may be because they SHOULD but they WON’T…any way I digress! So, I was saying there are many Shazia’s around us and in presence of them, I really don’t know if I can be HAPPY!

Oh I know I know….women have MashAllah progressed a lot too in different fields and there’s certainly something to be Happy about it but yet what cancels the effect is that very few out of those *successful* women are doing something for the betterment of other women around them. I’m not Happy because I cudn’t do anything about Shazia and many other Shazias, I’m not Happy because I didn’t do even a single thing today to bring a smile on the face of one such Shazia but one day, yes one day I WILL InshAllah and that day I’ll proudly stand and say Happy Women’s Day.

Till that day, I keep it in the brackets (duh my software engineering background, which tells me that anything in square brackets is optional) So, if u think you have done something practically for even a single Shazia today, be Happy and celebrate else think again and maybe do something before you become another Shazia (God Forbid)!

………………..o
Stay safe! -|-

Posted in Personal, Female Harrassment, Social Good | 3 Comments »

TakeBackTheTech: National Strategy Workshop Day 2

So, dear readers, here comes the live blog from National Strategy Workshop Day 2.

Posted in Female Harrassment, Social Good | No Comments »

Take Back The Tech: National Strategy Workshop on Women’s Stragic Use of ICTs to end VAW

Hey all, I’m live blogging from the National Strategy Workshop organized by Bytes4All and P@SHA to devise a national strategy for Women’s Strategic Use of ICTs to end Violence Against Women.Here’s the live blog from the workshop:

Posted in Tech Talk, Female Harrassment, Social Good | 1 Comment »

TakeBackTheTech: We made the legal community say TBTT!

The system clock showed it was 21st January and I felt my heart beat increasing - just 9 days left, yes “JUST” because I wanted everything to be perfect. On 29th January I was traveling to Lahore after about 18 years and this time to move a tiny little step ahead in bringing about the change that APC WNSP, Bytes4All, P@SHA and millions of women across the globe are waiting to see - a world where every women feels safe and secure in offline as well as the online world. With this intention, Jehan Ara from P@SHA and I were traveling to Lahore to conduct a seminar on “ICTs and Violence Against Women - Policy Implications”. Shahzad Ahmed from Bytes4All was coming from Islamabad to join us and the SUPER WOMAN Nighat Daad - a lahore based advocate who was our Aladdin lamp to get all things organized at Lahore

We were all super excited as this session was being conducted for the female advocates from Lahore to discuss with them MDG3, Pakistan Electronic Crime Ordinance and its fallacies and TakeBackTheTech Campaign. While Shahzad and Jehan were to talk about MDG3 and PECO respectively, my job was to introduce to the legal community what TakeBackTheTech is.

Even though I had done initial brain storming but I was still not feeling relaxed because the more important part of deciding how to present it without making people sleep, was left. I did not want it to be yet another dull and boring presentation that makes people sleep and oh, the light bulb lit “boring…presentation…sleep”…oh yay! I recalled how a person once managed to fall asleep and started snorting loudly while I was conducting a workshop But hey I always thought only stories make one fall asleep so if i have to make the audience sleep anyway, why not tell a story and bingo! I came up with this presentation:

It took me quite some time to create the graphics for the presentation and the tweaking continued till even an hour before the presentation, the last hour was spent freaking out because when I roamed around the hall filled with about 80 female as well as male advocates, a few educationalists/NGO representatives and 2 senior judges Justice Nasira Iqbal - President Lahore High Court Bar Association and Mian Allah Nawaz - Ex Chief Justice Lahore High Court, I came across a lot of people who told me with raised eyebrows, “You are so young, we were expecting someone senior” :O While I told them that looks can be deceiving and ‘am actually not too young, I got worried thinking if they are going to tag my presentation a piece of junk as well because of the wit it was supposed to contain :S

With a racing heart, I walked to the rostrum to present and then I all remember was telling the story which ended with claps and a lovely smile from Justice Nasira. Alhamdulilah majority liked the presentation and found it useful.

Shahzad’s presentation about MDG3 gave them a good understanding of what MDG3 is all about and Jehan’s presentation about PECO and it’s fallacies, made them all realize the importance of having an unambiguous and comprehensive e-crime law. This even lead some of them propose an idea of having a Technical Committee and to have the topics such as Cyber Crime Law as well as Cyber Crimes be introduced to lawyers, judges as well as law students at the Judicial Academy.

As always it was heartening to see a positive participation from a lot of male members from the legal community as well who emphasized the need to draft a comprehensive law for the betterment of women.

As some educationalists were also present at the session, so they highlighted the need of conducting such awareness sessions for students too where we enlighten them about the importance of ICTs while introducing to them the dangers of it as well and telling them how they can use ICTs safely.

So, all in all the session went great and I think we really managed to change minds of at least few who I’m sure will change a few more and that’s how the chain reaction will continue…

You can read more about the session on Jehan Ara’s blog here and Shahzad’s post on behalf of Bytes4All here.

PS: For those who do not know what TakeBackThetech is? Check out my blog post:
Let’s TBTT!

technorati tags: takebackthetech

Posted in Tech Talk, Food for Thought, Personal, Female Harrassment, Social Good | 6 Comments »

Take Back The Tech: Tale of two stalker mullahs

Disclaimer: This note by NO means aims to bring a bad name to the bearded individuals or religious clerics in general and the purpose is solely to share a story of two nasty mullahs.Also both these stories come from my dear and near ones who have been so close to me that there is no room for questioning the veracity of information provided.

Tale 1:
She was in her early teens and was waiting outside her bungalow for someone to open the gate as she had just got back from school. It was then that she heard a sound as if someone’s calling her and as she turned, she saw a flying kiss coming her way from a Mullah going on a bicycle. From the looks of him, he seemed to be one of so called “Maulvi Sahibs” who provide home based teaching of Quran to kids and are often seen going from one home to another on their bicycles. While it’s a SHAME for a person engaged in such a noble profession to be doing such acts of disgust,the next story makes one feel even more shocked!

Tale 2:
She had just started learning to read Quran and was barely 8 years old or so. Her Maulvi Sahib whom she used to respect a lot was also a young guy in his late teens or early twenties. Days went by and she kept getting her lessons regularly,however, one day, while she was revising her lesson infront of the maulvi sahib, she felt the maulvi sahib is staring her instead of looking on the Quran-e-Pak. As she raised her head to look at the Maulvi Sahib sitting right beside her,she found him smiling at her.She felt a bit uncomfortable and confused but what came ahead left her dumbfounded. Maulvi Sahib said to her with a smile “Kya aap k dil main meray liye mohabbat hai?” - “Do you feel love for me?” The 8 year old who was probably not even aware of the terms “romantic love” didn’t know how to answer but she sensed something is wrong so just to get herself out of the situation, she said “I will call you bhai (brother) from tomorrow”. Her answer changed the expressions on Mullah’s face but thankfully brought an end to the torturous lecture session.Right after the lecture, the 8 year old ran to the washroom and cried her heart out, she wanted to let everyone know what maulvi sahib had said to her but she felt embarrassment, she felt fear, she just didn’t know how to say it out. She wiped her tears and decided to remain quiet.
Next day came, the maulvi sahib came right on time and 8 yr old went to take her daily lesson but this time unwantedly. She wanted to quickly recite till the given Ayat, get over with the lesson and run but just when the lesson ended, maulvi sahib told her again with the same wicked smile “You did not call me *bhai* today?” and poor 8 year old again found herself trapped in the same situation that she had barely got herself out of a day ago. Today, she does not even remember what she told maulvi this time, may be something like “I’ll call you bhai now” or something, she does not remember exactly but all she remembers is feeling extremely uncomfortable, scared. After the maulvi sahib went, she again ran to the washroom and cried a lot, she was feeling shame.Note that victims of child abuse/female harassment often feel shame even though it not their fault to be a victim but somehow in the absence of proper guidance, the psychological changes triggers a sense of embarrassment in them and this 8 year old little girl was no different. After trying to figure out how to solve this problem, she finally decided to talk to her mother about it. So, she ran to her mother, and told her the entire story while bursting into tears. Her mother comforted her and asked her not to feel either bad or worried about it. She told her that she won’t have to get any lessons from the Maulvi Sahib now and the very next day she fired the mullah from his job.

While the 8 year old was wise enough to get her mother intervene and come out of the situation without any major harm, everyone young kid might not be this lucky! In my next note, I will discuss a few tips on how to secure kids in your family or surroundings from such nasty men (and sometimes women too).

PS: For those who do not know what TakeBackThetech is? Check out my blog post:
Let’s TBTT!

technorati tags: takebackthetech

Posted in Religion, Food for Thought, Female Harrassment, Social Good | 6 Comments »